Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
