yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
