I just threw up on my dentist
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
