smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
