You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
