I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
