You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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