a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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