Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize