we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
