He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
