Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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