we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Randomize
