at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
