So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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