Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
