i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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