Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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