Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
