haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
