Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him