Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.