Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
