So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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