Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
