google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
