from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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