Whod you bang
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
