Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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