I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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