im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
