I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize