i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
