I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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