i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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