Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We named our party play list daddy issues
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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