This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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