Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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