I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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