i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
