I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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