I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
