ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just cropdusted the office
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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