3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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