He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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