My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
