i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
