I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
