You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
