i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
The Olympian is in my bed
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
