Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
