I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
