so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
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after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
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