I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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