No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm at about main and main street
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
