noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
