I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
