I don't think brook has ever known best
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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