She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
