you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
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Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
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dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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