Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize