These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
we're so committed to being not committed
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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