you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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