i wish peter jackson would direct porn
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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