I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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