4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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